Give Me A Lifetime
by Chasyn
Summary: A series of unrelated short little ficlets, set in the prison era. Each chapter will have it's own little summary and warnings. But as a whole, will contain language, gay things, Rick/Daryl, death, zombies, whatever. Will probably be bad. So you've been warned.
1. We Are Good Together

**Disclaimer** : Don't own anything. 8D  
 **Notes** : This is a series of unrelated drabbles/ficlets/oneshots/whatever they're called. All set in the prison area, after Woodbury falls. Unless otherwise stated. I'll post warnings and summaries in each one. All will be Rick/Daryl.  
 **Warnings** : Sorta non-consensual kissing? Is this a thing? Also some fighting. And hate. But mostly just confusion.  
 **Summary** : Daryl goes out on a run. Rick sort of freaks out. Then they fight and stuff.

 **We Are Good Together**

"We… we are good together."

Daryl was sitting beside him on the stairs, absentmindedly biting at a cuticle. "What'reya talken 'bout?"

Rick smiled and leaned against the hunter's shoulder. "We are good together." He repeated.

They'd been dancing around it for a while. Since they first met, Rick liked to think. Since that first time he looked into the man's eyes, when Shane grabbed him after he attacked Rick for leaving his brother behind on that roof in Atlanta. Something in Daryl's intense, raging, blue eyes sparked something deep inside Rick. He liked to think that's when it first happened. That he'd been secretly pining after the man these past… months? Years? However long it'd been.

Truth was, that was some silly romantic notion that Daryl probably would just roll his eyes at. Something did spark through those eyes though. But it wasn't until after Lori's death that Rick realized.

He wasn't that kind of man. A cheater. Her lies, her actions, and her manipulations hurt him deeply. But he wasn't like that. While she was alive and he still considered her his wife, he never looked at anyone in that way. He wouldn't. It wasn't who he was. It wasn't the sort of man he was. And he still didn't look until several months afterwards. And even then, it had sort of been an accident.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Daryl had been out on a run. By himself. Once again. Rick really needed to have a word with him when he got back. Because Daryl was going on more solitary runs lately. Ever since Woodbury fell and they brought the survivors to join them. And each solitary run kept getting longer. Eight days. It had been eight days since Daryl rode out on his bike. Eight days since Rick had opened the gates and let him go without a second thought. Eight days since that bottle of Bourbon Rick had found in Glenn's cell disappeared. It wasn't his fault though. He couldn't sleep. Not when Daryl was missing.

Rick had spent every waking moment he could since then out in his garden, playing farmer. Horribly. His eyes were on the gate, the fence, the perimeter. Every few minutes, he scanned it all again. He listened for the hum of the motor. A shout. Gunfire. Anything beyond those gates that might signal someone was out there. Something! Something other than the occasional walkers that happened across their fences.

"Dad. Dad!" Carl had to lean over and grad Rick's arm before his dad heard him. Rick blinked at him and Carl pointed down at the man's hands.

Rick blinked again and glanced down. A mangled tomato plant was clutched in his right hand and two more lay discarded on the ground in front of him. "Sorry." He mumbled, dropping it and brushing them all away. He sat back, sighed, and ran a dirty hand through his hair. "I wasn't paying attention with the weeding."

Carl nodded slowly and moved to sit down beside him. "I'll finish this." He grabbed the tools and began working.

Rick didn't answer. He just nodded and stumbled back a bit out of Carl's way. He pulled himself up, his eyes still on the gate, his head still nodding slowly. He couldn't concentrate on anything anymore. He just couldn't…

Carl looked back up at him, frowning. "Dad?"

Rick didn't look at him, his eyes still on the fence. The fence. He needed to check the fence. "I'm going to go check the snares." He said far too slowly.

"Dad." Carl said gently. "He'll be fine. He'll come back. He always does."

The words didn't seem to make sense to him. Rick turned and stared down at his son.

"Daryl." Carl said.

Rick flinched at the name and looked at the fence again. "Check… snares…" He mumbled.

Carl wiped his hands on his pants and stood up. "I'll go with you."

"No." Rick said, shaking his head. "You finish this up and help Hershel."

Carl looked down at the ground. "Dad…"

"Everything's fine." Rick interrupted quickly. "I'll be right back. Stay and finish the weeding, okay? Maybe ask Hershel if we can replant those plants I pulled up. See if we can salvage them."

Carl nodded slowly but still didn't get back to work. "I will… if you…"

"If I what?" Rick promoted.

Carl took a step closer to him, suddenly nervous and pleading. "Take your gun. Please."

Rick stepped back and shook his head. "Nah. I have my knife."

"Please, dad!" Carl insisted. "Please! Just take it with you. Even if you don't use it. Just carry it with you when you leave. Please!"

Rick met Carl's eyes. He saw the genuine concern and worry and felt bad. Carl had lost his mom and here Rick was, acting foolish about everything. _Damnit, Daryl_. He looked away quickly and nodded. "Okay. I'll get my gun. You stay here."

Carl nodded again and sat back down. He picked up the tools but didn't immediately start working.

Rick moved to leave and looked back at Carl one last time. And the kid was biting his lip. He hesitated. "Carl? Is there something else?"

Another hesitating moment followed. "I know." The boy said softly.

Rick stopped moving. "What'd you say?"

"I know." He repeated even softer. "I've seen the way he looks at you. It's…" Carl fumbled with the trowel. "It's… okay… if you…"

Rick frowned at him and shook his head. He didn't know what Carl meant, what he was talking about. Later. He would ask Carl later. His mind wasn't exactly working correctly at the moment. He kept his promise though and retrieved his gun before slipping outside the gates. He had intended to check the snares. He really did. But once he was out of visibility of the prison, the snares were completely forgotten. Daryl was in charge of the snares. He'd taught Rick about them. Tried to teach him about tracking and hunting, things that were second nature to him and foreign to Rick.

Rick let out a sigh and leaned against a thin tree. _Daryl, Daryl, Daryl._ _Daryl… Daryl?_ The man's name was on repeat in his mind, like some kind of weird mantra. He needed him back. He needed him safe. He… he just needed him. It was just… he was just…

The way he looked at him… Daryl? The way Daryl looked at him? That's what Carl had said. The way Daryl looked at Rick. What did that mean? _Daryl, Daryl, Daryl._ Rick really had no clue how long he was out there, wandering around in his Daryl daze. Was it ten minutes? An hour? Two? In the back of his mind, he knew it should get back. Carl really did look worried. He didn't want to worry his son but… Carl had said… Daryl!

The sound of a motor pulled him from his dazed inner mantra. He knew that sound. He knew that engine. He spun around, his eyes searching the trees. _Daryl, Daryl, Daryl!_ He wanted to scream the name. He bit his lip against the impulse. There could be walkers nearby. There were always walkers around. He stood, unmoving, and listened. Slowing. It was slowing. He could hear it in the rumble. He listened for a moment, trying to gauge the direction. And then he took off at a run.

Rick wasn't in his right mind, clearly. He leapt out into the road without looking, barely missing Daryl as he swerved. The bike turned, skidded, and Daryl yanked it back under control and cut the engine. He kicked the stand into place and jumped off. "What the fuck, Rick?" Daryl stalked up to him and pushed him back violently. "I coulda' killed ya!"

Rick stumbled backwards, dazed for a moment. Then he met Daryl's eyes and something new snapped inside him. His hands shot out of their own accord and grabbed Daryl by the collar of that sleeveless leather jacket. His brain was running on autopilot, fueled by its mantra of _Daryl, Daryl, Daryl_. He pulled Daryl against him and pressed his lips against his.

Daryl didn't immediately push him away. Or punch him. Or kick or scream or grab his crossbow or anything Rick would have expected of him. What he did do was reach up with both of his hands and tangled his fingers in Rick's hair. For a split second, Daryl's lips moved against his. Daryl kissed him back. _What?!_

Then he seemed to snap back and quickly pulled away, shoving Rick. "The fuck?"

Rick turned slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't… uh… ever be… gone that long... again..." He said slowly and softly. Like that was some reason, some excuse. "I uh… missed you." He mumbled.

"Yeah?" Daryl breathed out. "Do ya shove yer tongue down Glenn's throat when he's gone to long?"

Rick decided to answer by staring intently at the ground. Very intently. It was a very interesting patch of road.

Daryl stared at the ex-cop for a few tense moments. The silence was broken by a moan behind them. Daryl turned, grabbing his crossbow as he moved. He held it up and fired, seemingly without a second thought. The bolt flew through the air and pierced the walker's head. He retrieved the bolt quickly and then turned back around and narrowed his eyes. Then he threw his crossbow over his shoulder and turned for his bike.

"Sorry." Rick muttered finally, still not looking up from the interesting road.

"S'ok." Daryl said, straddling the motorcycle. He nodded in the direction of the prison. "S'get inside 'fore dark."

Rick nodded slowly and finally looked up from the road. He glanced down towards the prison.

"Get on."

Rick shook his head, not looking at Daryl. "Imma walk back… checking… snares…" He turned and headed back into the woods.

"Rick." Daryl called after him. "Rick!"

He pretended like he didn't hear Daryl. He heard the roar of the engine and sighed. He fucked it up. He wasn't sure what it was… but whatever it was… he was certain he fucked it up. He needed a drink. That thought, that need scared him more than Daryl. He'd never been much of a drinker. Socially, sure. He'd been drinking with Shane after work before.

But Daryl… eight days was a long time. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Okay. So he'd stolen the bottle and let it put him to sleep that first night after Daryl left. They way he'd looked at Rick as he left…

Rick checked the snares. Found a rabbit and two squirrels. He tossed them into the bag he'd tied to his belt. Then he just… he had no real sense of time anymore. Not really. Not exactly. Five minutes? Ten minutes? An hour? However long it'd been, he hadn't meant it. He was just ambling around. He shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. He swayed a bit on his feet. Yeah. He needed to go back. He needed an actual good night's sleep. He weaved around the trees and smiled when the prison came into view.

"He's back!" Maggie's voice called out loudly. She was standing in the guard tower beside Glenn, waving wildly.

Rick frowned as he slipped into the fence. Carl came running towards him and Maggie was a step behind, having left Glenn in the tower. "Dad!" Carl slowed, watching him warily. "What happened?"

Maggie slowed, her eyes wide. "Did Daryl find you?"

Rick tilted his head. He glanced at Carl and then at Maggie. "What?"

"Daryl." Maggie repeated.

Rick glanced back at the gate and pointed. "I saw him on his way in." He turned back. "He was on his bike."

"No." Maggie shook her head quickly. "Daryl got back and then left to find you."

Rick blinked. "Why?"

"Dad." Carl said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "Are you okay?"

Rick smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Maggie and Carl exchanged a quick glance before Maggie slowly said, "You've been gone for hours."

Rick glanced away for a moment. "I… got a bit turned around." He smiled and patted Carl on the shoulder. "I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." He pulled the bag from his belt. "Here. Take this to Carol and help her with 'em."

Carl hesitated. He still looked a bit worried. But he finally nodded and headed across the yard.

Rick watched the kid for a moment and looked back at Maggie. "How long ago did Daryl leave?"

She shrugged. "Maybe… ten minutes?"

Rick nodded. "He should still be close by. I'll go find him."

"Oh no you don't." Maggie grabbed his arm and yanked him back. "You go get cleaned up. I'll go."

Rick wanted to argue more. But he didn't think he'd get very far. He headed inside the prison and quickly made his way to his cell. He pulled off his shirt and was digging around for a slightly cleaner one when he heard Daryl's voice. He quickly pulled one on and headed out.

"Da fuck is he? Rick! Get yer fucking ass out here."

"Daryl!" Carol hissed, trying to quiet the hunter. "Keep your voice down. You're going to start upsetting people."

"Sorry." Daryl mumbled as Rick stepped out of the cell block. "You!" Daryl snapped.

"Volume." Carol said.

Daryl glared and grabbed the front of Rick's shirt. "Come on." He turned and pulled Rick back into the cell block. The few Woodburyians hanging out in the cell block fled at seeing the look on Daryl's face. Daryl pulled Rick out in front of him and pushed him further down the block. Rick stumbled a bit but let Daryl direct him towards Rick's cell. Rick turned as Daryl pulled the door-sheets down. Daryl pushed past him, angrily shaking his head. Something clanked on the floor and Daryl looked down. He reached down and grabbed the near empty bottle of Bourbon that had rolled out. He held it up, the liquid swishing around in the bottle. "This was full when I gave it to Glenn."

Rick turned slightly and leaned against the wall. He didn't look at him.

"Rick!" Daryl snapped.

"It… I… it… uh…" Rick started stuttering. "It was just to help me sleep." He mumbled softly.

"A week, Rick."

"Eight days, Daryl." Rick countered.

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Ya had a breakdown over eight days?"

"Too long, Daryl." Rick whispered. "You can't be gone that long."

Daryl's eyes narrowed. "You can't fucken tell me what to do."

"Yes I can!" Rick snapped. "I… I need you." He said softer. "I can't lose you."

Daryl flinched at the confession, like Rick had hit him. He turned and set the bottle down. "You dun need me." He said hoarsely, barely a whisper.

"I do, Daryl." Rick said, taking a step towards Daryl. "I think… more than I ever knew."

Daryl put his hand out, pressing against Rick's chest, stopping him. "Don't fuck with me, officer friendly."

Rick blinked. "I uh.. I don't think I am..." His voice faltered.

Daryl glared at him and turned. "Better not catch ya drinkin' again." He slipped out, letting the sheet fall.

Rick let out a sigh and sunk down on his bed. He blinked and rubbed at his head. That could have gone better. Though he wasn't entirely sure what that was. But it could have gone better, he was sure. He could have done so much better. Maybe. If he wanted to.. if... he... wanted Daryl. Did he want Daryl? He thought he did. Though Daryl had kissed him back... and then Daryl had left his cell. Maybe Rick... maybe he... maybe Daryl... Rick let out a groan and leaned back on the bed. His head was so confused and mixed up and conflicted. He didn't know what to do. Or what to think. Or anything. Whatever.

Rick closed his eyes and ended up falling asleep.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

He woke up early the next morning. He blinked in his dark cell, confused for a moment. It had been the first time in over a week that he'd fell asleep so easily. Actually, it had been the first time he'd slept through the whole night in... longer than he could remember. No one had woke him up. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Why hadn't someone woke him up? Guard duty or something. It had been barely dinner time last night. He must have slept like 12 hours!

Rick pulled himself out of bed and walked out of his cell. It was still dark. There was light behind him. He turned. Daryl was sitting on the steps with a lantern. He was fiddling around with his fucking crossbow. Rick knew the man had heard him. Daryl heard everything. But the archer wouldn't look up at him. Wouldn't acknowledge him in any way. And suddenly, Rick was pissed. Really pissed. He stalked towards him. Still, Daryl didn't look up. "Daryl." Rick said his name. Still nothing. "We need ta talk."

"Nothin' ta talk 'bout." Daryl mumbled, his eyes still on his crossbow.

That pissed Rick off more. If Daryl wanted to ignore him, fine. "Shoulda woken me up fer my shift."

"Told Glenn ta take it." Daryl said, turning the crossbow over. "Ya needed ta learn ta sleep right again."

Rick frowned. "The fucks that mean?"

"Without drinkin' yerself stupid." Daryl said calmly. "Hate that ya drank so much."

Rick narrowed his eyes. "I hate the way you chew on your fingers."

Daryl's head whipped up. He stared at Rick, confusion on his face.

Rick spun around and stomped out. He relieved Glenn, who was grateful. Glenn was coming down with a cold and was happy to take some cough syrup and go back to bed for a few hours. By the end of his watch, Rick was still pissed at Daryl. Just didn't understand why the cold shoulder. Just because Rick kissed him? Well... Daryl had kissed his back. So it was Daryl's fault! Daryl had been the one to disappear anyways. For over a week. Yeah, it was all Daryl's fault.

Carol came to relieve Rick around lunch time. She smiled at him. "I left a plate inside for you."

Rick shook his head. "Thanks but not really hungry."

Carol's smile fell and she looked at him sternly. "You go eat, okay? You missed dinner and I didn't see you for breakfast. I already told Carl to make sure you eat it all."

Rick rolled his eyes but offered her a smile. "Yes, ma'am." He headed down the stairs and started across the lawn towards the prison. People were up now, milling about. Smiling and laughing and talking. A few greeted him, stopped to talk for a moment. He smiled and chatted back and headed on inside. Carl was sitting at the table, talking with Daryl. Rick frowned. He was still sore at Daryl for that morning. He knew he shouldn't be.

Daryl glanced over at him. He leaned towards Carl, said something softly that Rick couldn't hear. Then the archer got up and turned to leave.

Rick watched him and he was more angry.

"Hey dad." Carl said with a smile. "Carol left this for ya."

Rick's eyes didn't budge from where Daryl had disappeared to. "I'll be right back." He walked past Carl and followed after Daryl.

The hunter spun around and glared at him. "I hate ya bossin' me around all the time." He pushed past him.

Rick stared after him for a moment. "Well... uh... you smoke too much!" He called after him. Then sighed. "Wait, Daryl!"

"I hate that ya can't make up yer mind anymore!"

Rick's mouth dropped open. About what? Then Daryl was gone again. And Rick was following. Out of the prison and across the lawn. Daryl was suddenly on his bike and at the fence and Michonne was getting ready to pull the gate open. "I hate that you're always leaving alone!" Rick snapped.

Daryl revved his bike and nodded to Michonne. She moved to pull the gate open. Daryl glanced at Rick. "Hate that ya never come anymore." Then Daryl sped out.

"You drive too fast!" Rick shouted. He wasn't even sure Daryl had heard that one.

Michonne closed the gate behind him and locked it. Then she turned and gave him an odd look. "What's that about?"

Rick shook his head and turned. "Nothing." He muttered, turning back to the prison.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Daryl returned a few hours later. He dropped a few rabbits off to Carol and a few of the Woodbury women. And then headed inside. Rick was with Beth, Maggie, and Glenn. Judy was in his lap and he was smiling widely as the toddler laughed. Daryl stalked up to him. "You smile too much."

Rick looked up at him. The smile on his face fell and his lips pulled into a straight line. "You never smile." Rick snapped back.

Daryl glared at him and pushed past Glenn.

"Okay." Maggie said, shaking her head. "Michonne and Carol said you guys were fighting. What's up?"

Rick glanced down at Judy and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know." He said softly.

Maggie raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "You don't know?"

Glenn glanced back where Daryl had disappeared. "Something's been up since he came back after being gone for a week."

"Eight days." Rick mumbled.

"Well... figure it out." Maggie snapped. "You both are getting on everyone's nerves."

Rick sighed and looked down at Judy again. She was happily chewing on her hand.

"I'll take her." Beth offered, leaning over.

Rick shook his head. "Not now."

Maggie rolled her eyes. "Rick, I swear..."

"Later, I promise." He said, glancing up at her.

Her eyes narrowed. "Before bedtime."

He nodded. "Promise."

Maggie settled back against Glenn, seemingly pacified.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Rick hadn't lied yet. He just hadn't gone to bed. If he stayed up all night, then he could tell Maggie he hadn't broken their promise. Somehow, though, he didn't think she'd be okay with his reasoning. He was at the table, cleaning his gun somberly. He couldn't stop thinking about Daryl. And this weird fight thing they were doing. He let out a sign and leaned back in his chair.

When Rick looked up, Daryl was leaning against the cellblock door, watching him. Catching Rick's gaze, Daryl pushed off the door and headed across the room. He stopped in front of Rick. "I hate the way yer stupid hair curls." Daryl reached over to tug at one of the offending curls.

Rick had to fight the urge to lean into the touch. "I uh... hate how... blue your eyes are." He said awkwardly.

Said blue eyes blinked at him. Then the corner of Daryl's mouth twitched in the tiniest smile. "Yers are bluer."

Rick reached up to grab Daryl's hand, that was still in his hair. Rick stood up and Daryl blinked and took a step back. Rick frowned and tried to pull on Daryl's wrist but the hunter yanked his hand back and turned. "I hate that you keep running away." Rick said softly.

Daryl paused and glanced back at him over his shoulder. "I hate that you keep pushing me away."

Rick stared at him a moment, confused. Daryl was the one always trying to leave! Rick's narrowed his eyes. "I hate that you don't care about anything!" He spat out in anger.

Daryl's gaze dropped to the floor. "I... I can't believe you just said that."

Rick's eyes widened. "Wait! Daryl! I didn't..."

But Daryl was gone, headed into their cell block. Glenn and Maggie walked in a moment later. Beth trailed them, Judy in her arms. Rick sighed and turned to Beth.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

A few hours later, Rick was finally able to sneak away from the others to find Daryl. The archer was in his cell, sitting on the bottom bunk of his bed. Rick leaned in the doorway. Daryl glanced up at him and then looked away.

"I hate that I keep messing this up." Rick said softly. "That I keep hurting you." He paused for a moment and then continued when Daryl didn't move. "I hate the way you make me feel." He admitted softly, his voice barely a whisper.

Daryl snorted and shook his head. "Hate that yer better wit words."

Rick smiled. He pushed off the door frame and stepped towards Daryl. He reached his hand out. Daryl took his hand and let Rick pull him up. "I hate... that I need you." Rick said softly.

Daryl closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

Rick stepped closer, just a couple inches of space between them. "I hate that I..."

"I like you, Rick." Daryl said quickly, opening his eyes.

Rick opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. "Those are words."

Daryl rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yes, Rick."

"You... like me..." Rick repeated slowly.

Daryl stared at him. "Yer a fucken idiot." He shook his head. "Yes!"

Rick looked down at the ground. "Why'd you walk away then?"

Daryl let out a sigh and leaned back against the frame of the bed. "I said don't fuck wit me. You said ya didn't think ya were."

Rick nodded. "I remember..."

"Rick, I'm not just someone you can use ta get yer rocks off wit once in a while. Plenty a' chicks here fer that. Men too."

"I never... never thought you were." Rick said softly.

"Didn't ever sound so sure." Daryl shrugged. "Been waiting long 'nuff. Was willing ta wait til ya were sure."

"Waiting..." Rick mused with a smile. "How long?"

"While."

Rick's smile widened. "Why didn't ta tell me?" He whined.

"Yer uh... wife?" Daryl mumbled softly.

"Oh... yeah..." Rick let out a sigh and scratched at the back of his neck. "So... you don't really think my hair's stupid?"

Daryl shook his head. "I might wanna... pull 'em."

Rick smiled again. "I uh... might like that..." Rick looked at Daryl and bit his lip. He was sure now. He did want Daryl. He stepped forward, pinning Daryl against the frame. Daryl turned his blue eyes on him and Rick dropped his to Daryl's lips. "Can I uh... kiss you?"

"Didn't ask the first time."

"Maybe I shoulda." Rick breathed out. "Mighta stopped all this."

"Mighta." Daryl shrugged. "If ya wanna. Won't stop ya."

Rick smile. He moved slowly, nervously. He didn't want to mess this up. He reached out tentatively, slowly. Rick's fingers touched Daryl's chin, traced the line up his jaw. Daryl sucked in a breath but waited patiently, not moving. Rick hooked his fingers behind Daryl's neck. He dipped his head forward and brought their lips together again.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

 **Author's Notes:** Mostly, this was a challenge I challenged myself with to write little ficlets/drabbles/whatevers under 5000 words. 8D I started this one over a year ago. I fail at things.


	2. Bite the Dust

**Warnings** : Character death. 8D  
 **Summary** : They were taking the day off. Just out for a walk, goofing off. Maybe not paying the best attention.

 **Bite the Dust**

They'd been getting too cocky, too complacent. There was no sign of the Governor and hardly any walkers anymore. They hadn't seen any near the prison in over a month. They were still around. On runs, walkers would be found. In stores or homes or sometimes on the roads. Guard duty was slowly becoming a chore the Woodburians complained about. None of them wanted to do it. They didn't feel they needed to. They all felt safe.

Daryl and Rick, they knew better. Their "family" knew better. Their small group made the runs. They took the guard shifts. They stalked the woods, looking for signs of danger. Human and walker alike.

Rick and Daryl were down at the river. They'd spent the better part of the morning just walking around, giving the prison a wide berth. Just slow and lazy and enjoying the peaceful silence. They didn't get a lot of days like this. Calm and quiet and no one was vying for Rick's attention or relying on Daryl to hunt. He'd accidently happened on a moose yesterday. It had taken all his bolts to get the thing on the ground long enough to pull out his knife and finish it off as quickly as he could. As long as the generators held out, they'd be good for a few days. Maybe even a week.

So they were taking the day off, Rick and Daryl. Rick had been sweating. He peeled off his shirt and gun belt and waded into the water. Daryl moved back a few paces and lifted his crossbow. He scanned the trees as far as he could see. But there was nothing. There was never anything anymore.

"Come on." Rick called. "Ease up for a few minutes and relax. Water feels great."

Daryl turned slightly and shook his head but he let his crossbow fall a bit. "I'm good."

Rick let out a laugh and leaned back. He dunked his whole body into the water. Daryl sucked in a breath as he watched. He shouldn't be, he knew. Shouldn't be watching Rick. Should be watching the trees.

He couldn't even remember how it had happened. Or when exactly. He just remembered waking up one morning with Rick's name on his lips, a vivid dream behind his eyes, and very tight pants. Somewhere along the line, Daryl had fallen in love with his fearless leader. So hopelessly, head over fucking heels, he was disgusted with himself.

Daryl bit his lip and watched as the water dripped down Rick's torso. Rick's eyes were closed and he was wiping the water from his eyes. Then he shook his head, water flying from his unruly curly hair. And Daryl was mesmerized.

Daryl wasn't paying attention to anything around him. For the first time in years, maybe even in his whole life, he was completely oblivious. His eyes only on Rick. And then it happened so fast. The searing pain in his shoulder. The sound ripped from his throat. The horror on Rick's face when he turned at Daryl's scream. Daryl blinked, tried to focus as he lurched forward. His hand went to his shoulder and came away with blood.

Rick was scrambling out of the water and stumbling towards him.

Daryl dropped his crossbow and drew his knife. He turned, pivoting on his heels. The walker was large. Must have been a body builder or something. Well... fuck it. Daryl lunged at it, knocking it off its wobbly feet. He plunged the knife in its skull without anymore hesitation.

Then there were hands on him, pulling him up. Rick spun him around and tore his vest and shirt. Daryl pushed his hands away and stepped back. He was angry with himself. Let his guard down for a second. Fucken staring at Rick like some high school girl with a crush. And now he...

"Daryl..."

Daryl turned. There were tears in Rick's eyes, tears on his cheeks. Fuck everything. Fuck life. Fuck this. Fuck fate that brought him so close to the most perfect person in the world and then snatched everything out from under him. Just. Fuck. Everything. Daryl shot forward and grabbed Rick's face. He pressed his lips against Rick's, not giving the other man a chance to respond. It was gentle and chaste. Sweet and tender. Rick finally moved against him. He tried to grab Daryl and pull him closer. But Daryl detached himself and pushed Rick away gently. Daryl met Rick's eyes. He reached up and brushed his thumb against Rick's tear stained cheek.

"Damnit, Daryl." Rick choked out. "Why'd you do that?"

The kiss or letting down his guard, Daryl didn't know the answer. He didn't want to know. Daryl let his arm fall and looked down at the ground. "Tell Carl and Judy I love 'em. Like my own. Always have." He shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at a rock on the ground. "An' tell Carol I'm sorry. Couldn't be who she wanted me 'ta. An' Glenn 'n Maggie... jus' want 'em ta be happy. Jus' want everyone ta be happy."

Rick wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and grabbed the hem of Daryl's best. "An' me? What 'bout me? What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

 _Without you?_

The words hung in the air, unsaid. But Daryl still heard them, in his heart and soul. He smiled. A real, genuine smile. He hated the pain he felt radiating from Rick. He longed to comfort the man. But Daryl could believe that that pain was more than just over losing a friend and brother. He could imagine the distraught was over a loved one, a boyfriend, a lover. "Live." Daryl answered softly.

Rick shook his head and grabbed for Daryl. "Not without you!" He pressed his lips against Daryl's. Just for a moment, Daryl let Rick pull him under. He fisted his hands in Rick's hair and Rick's hands were on his hips. And they were on his waist and pulling Daryl closer. Daryl's body was flush against Rick's and he couldn't tell if the heat was from Rick or if the fever was setting in already.

The second thought suddenly terrified Daryl and he pulled away from Rick. "Stay." Daryl said loudly and stepped back. Rick dropped his hands to his side and didn't move. Daryl stepped back again. He pulled out his gun.

Rick's eyes widened. "Wait!"

Daryl took another step and glared down at the gun in his hand.

"Wait!" Rick repeated louder.

"Nothing ta wait for, Rick." Daryl mumbled sadly.

"No!" Rick shook his head. "Not yet!"

Daryl looked up at Rick, tears in his eyes. "Not gonna be enough time, Rick." He said softly. "Never enough time."

Rick was trembling. Daryl just wanted to run to him, to hold him and whisper that it was going to be okay. But it wasn't. Not this time. "Daryl, please!"

Daryl lifted the gun and pressed the cold muzzle to his temple. "Love ya, Rick."

Rick darted forward frantically, his arms out to stop him.

Daryl pulled the trigger.


	3. 4 AM

**Warnings** : Nothing. 8D  
 **Summary** : Daryl can't sleep.

 **4 AM**

4 AM. He couldn't sleep. He stared up at the ceiling, his arms stretched under his head. His muscles ached bad. Too much hunting the past week. Every day. Yanking back on the damn crossbow wire. And then helping Rick haul them bags of fertilizer they'd found on a run yesterday. And those bags of sand too. Because Daryl decided Judy needed a fucking sandbox. And Daryl was determined to build the whole damn thing himself because Rick spent all day gardening out in the sun and Daryl knew that was hard on the man's body. And now Daryl ached all over and he knew he'd never sleep.

He glanced over at his nightstand. Dale's old watch was propped up, seemingly mocking him. 4:03. Fucken damn it! How the fuck was he gonna do it all over again in a few hours if he didn't fucken sleep? Answer? He'd still do it because he had to do it. He'd muddle through. Bring home more food for everyone. Finish the sandbox. Help Rick again when the man needed it. Because that's what he did.

Daryl closed his eyes again and willed sleep to come to him. Breathed deep and slow, listened to the quiet silence of the prison around him. He opened his eyes and looked at the watch again. 4:09.

And then a shadow fell across him. Daryl didn't need to look up to see who it was standing in his doorway. He pulled himself to the edge of the bed and pulled his feet up. The shadow moved towards him. It was a tight squeeze, the tiny prison beds only meant for one person. But they could both fit if they laid on their sides and pressed against each other's space. And Rick was the only person allowed in his personal space.

Rick settled behind him and draped his arm around Daryl's waist. He pulled Daryl flush against him and buried his face against his neck. Daryl felt the scratchy beard against him and let out a sigh. He felt the muscles against his neck shift and he imagined Rick smiling. And suddenly, Daryl felt his lids droop and the last thing he remembered was Rick snoring in his ear.

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

 **Author's Notes:** Just a little thing I wrote last night at work.


	4. 42

**Warnings** : This doesn't contain death, but mentions established death. So don't really want to use the death tag.  
 **Summary** : Just Rick, Daryl, and Judy hanging out in Rick's cell.

 **42**

Judy bounced in Rick's lap happily, giggling and clapping her tiny hands together. They were sitting in Rick's cell. Just hanging out and goofing off.

"Can't believe how fast she's growing." The gravelly voice beside him said.

Rick glanced over at him and smiled. "Yeah. Like a little weed, huh?"

Daryl wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Nah. She ain't a weed. She's our little rose."

Rick let out a laugh and nodded. "Daddy's little ass kicking rose."

"Damn right."

Rick smiled and let out a contented sigh. He never thought it possible. Never thought he'd be so happy ever again. With walkers and death all around them and with Lori's still too recent death. But Daryl. Daryl had been there with him through it all. He'd picked Rick up and put him back together, piece by piece. Daryl had been his rock, his source of strength. Daryl gave him the will to go on another day, to keep being the man his kids needed. And Rick loved the man for it. For all of it and so much more.

Rick smiled and let out a laugh. He reached for Daryl's hand and squeezed it lightly. "Hey... you wanna..."

"Dad?"

Rick looked over as Carl stood in the doorway. He smiled at the kid. "Hey Carl."

"Dad..." Carl said the word slowly, frowning. "Who are you talking to?"

Rick blinked and turned his head. Daryl was gone. He was alone in the cell with Judy. Oh yeah. That's right. He blinked again and looked down at Judy in his lap. "Uh... no one." He said slowly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. "Just... yer sister."

Carl stared at him a moment. "Are you... sure?"

Rick nodded and looked up at him. He forced a smile on his face. "Everything's fine, kiddo. I promise."

Carl bit his lip, like he wanted to say more. Instead, he nodded. "Beth said it's time for Judy's bath. She said she'd do it and put her down for you."

Rick nodded and gave the toddler in his lap a quick hug. "Night my little rose. Be good for aunt Beth." He looked back up at Carl. "Can you take her for me?"

Carl nodded and stepped into the cell to pick her up. He turned and then hesitated. "You sure you're okay?" He asked softly.

Rick sighed. "Yes. Just a little tired."

Carl nodded. "Okay." He said with a weak smile. "We'll keep it down. You sleep."

Rick's eyes dropped to the floor. "Yeah." He mused softly. "I'll do that."

"Love ya, dad."

"Love you, too, kiddo."

Carl smiled and turned and left.

Rick leaned forward, leaning heavily on the bed frame. He gripped the cool metal tightly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Daryl?" He whispered the name, full of sudden fear that he'd never hear the man's voice again.

"Right here, Rick."

Rick opened his eyes and looked up. Daryl was leaning in the doorway, smiling at him. Rick sighed deeply and shook his head. "Why didn't I kiss you when you were alive?"

Daryl let out a sigh and stepped towards him. He sat down beside Rick and leaned back. "We were both too chickenshit ta do anything 'bout it."

Rick shook his head and blinked. "I just... I love you so much, Daryl."

"I know, babe, I know."

"It hurts."

"I know."

"I can't..." Rick shook his head. "Can't stand the idea of never seeing you again. Never hearing your voice or feeling you beside him. I know its selfish of me. But please, Daryl." He looked over at Daryl and met his eyes. "You can't ever leave me." Tears spilled down Rick's face.

Daryl lifted his arm to touch Rick's cheek. Rick couldn't feel it, but he leaned into the touch anyways and let out a sigh. "I'm not going anywhere, Rick." Daryl said softly. "I got nowhere else ta be. I'm dead, babe. I got all the time in the world."

 **-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

 **Author's Notes:** Wrote this last night while listening to the song 42 by Coldplay. While at work. 8D I am now obsessed with the song.


End file.
